Brownies
by Sapphyre Blu
Summary: Who on the Andromeda has the biggest sob story? Read to find out. Modeled after the brownie scene on Notting Hill


Disclaimer: I don't own anybody or anything so you can't sue me.

"Boy oh boy, that was delicious," Harper exclaimed, talking about the meal the crew had just finished. Everybody mumbled an 'mmm' in agreement.

For the last course the auto chef served up six brownies. Each of the five crew members greedily took one and ate it with delight. The chairs in the mess hall were beginning to shuffle backwards, as the crew was beginning to exit, when suddenly they realized there was one brownie left over. Harper, Dylan, and Beka all went to grab it, but stopped when they realized all of them were going for the same thing.

"How are we going to divide the last brownie?" Beka asked.

"I know," Harper said, "Who ever has the best sob story gets it." Harper was sure he'd win.

"How do we know who it is?" Beka asked.

"We'll let Rommie judge," said Dylan

"I can do that," came a disembodied voice

"That sounds great," Dylan said, "I'll start."

"Why do you get to start?" Beka asked.

"Because I'm the captain," was his response.

"That's your excuse for everything," Harper replied.

"Anyway," Dylan started, "life began just fine. I was born to two parents who I admired and was eventually promised to the woman I loved. I even liked her family. I had two best friends who were great and a job that I wanted since childhood. Andromeda had a crew of over three thousand and I knew almost everyone personally. Then one day it all changed. I was ambushed by Nietzscheans led by my best friend. I ordered my crew to abandon ship, everybody but my pilot did. I had to watch my best friend kill her. Then I had to kill my best friend. Afterwards I went into an event horizon where I woke up 300 years later and everything, and everyone I knew and loved was gone."

"Yeah, yeah, then you got a new crew and your restoring order in the galaxy…No offense Dylan, but you don't have anything on me," Beka adamantly stated.

"Did I get to the part where I had to assign a ragtag team who had no discipline?"

Beka threw a napkin at him before she started her story.

"At least the first part of your life started out well. Only the first four years of my life started out decent. Afterwards, my father left home with me and my brother about that time. Ever since, we had to live hand to mouth. I learned how to be a crook when I was eight. Then when I was about ten my dad began flash. That is about the time my brother started acting out and getting in trouble. I constantly tried to take care of my dad while making excuses for my brother. Many crew members came and went I liked some much more than others, but in the end it was all the same…my dad couldn't pay them so they left. I had to learn not to get attached to anyone. My dad eventually died of an overdose when I was eighteen; my brother had run away a year prior. I was the one to attend my dad's funeral. After he died I picked up where I left off making runs from one system to another picking up crew members, and eventually losing them. Picking up lovers and eventually killing them. I did, however, finally end with Harper, Trance, and Rev."

"She's got you beat Dylan," came Rommie's voice.

Beka smirked at him

"But not by much."

Beka frowned and Dylan laughed at her.

"Okay, it's my turn," Harper chimed in, "My hell began as soon as I could retain memories. The Nietzscheans were already ruling over earth and using as many people they could find as slaves. Pretty much the whole human race had to go into hiding, including me and my family. When I was seven the magog attacked killing many of my relatives and infesting others. I didn't loose my parents until four years later when they died protecting me from Nietzscheans. After that I was passed down from relative to relative many of whom I barely knew. I honestly can't remember a time in my life on earth where I wasn't hungry, cold, or in pain. Then I had to meet up with the magog again only to be infested with them."

Harper grinned he thought he had it.

"We'll he did beat Beka," Rommie claimed.

Harper smiled and reached for the brownie only to have a dark, muscular arm catch his wrist.

"You haven't given me a chance yet," Tyr interjected.

"Tyr, you never eat more than one dessert," Beka observed.

"I enjoy competition," Tyr stated.

"Growing up Nietzschean is always like living in a war zone. The true test, however, started when I was young. My parents, along with almost all my pride, were killed by the Drago Katzov when I was still a teenager. After that I was kept as a slave until an unfortunate accident gave me reason to escape. I survived in the wilderness for a few years until I learned I could make a living as a mercenary. Of course as a mercenary I was never wanted anywhere I went. I'm still not in some cases," Tyr finished.

"Hmm," Andromeda pondered, "I would say Tyr and Harper are tied."

"What!" Harper protested, "How do you decide these things?"

"I have a measurement based on age, length of suffering, support system…"

"Okay, okay…I'm sorry I asked," Harper said plugging his ears.

"I cut, you choose?" Tyr asked.

"Don't I at least get to try?" Trance asked almost sheepishly.

Trance did like to eat, but unlike humans Trance never had to eat to consume energy. She mainly liked the taste of food and brownies were her favorite.

Everybody sat silently hoping they could learn more about the golden beauty.

"I ran away from my people while I was still quite young. Their ideals were far different from mine and I knew I could never stay. I lived among organics for all my life afterwards, I spent a life time with many I watched them live and die. Back then my only mission in life was to keep my friends safe. Then the abyss became too powerful and that is when I found my purpose. Since my people wouldn't fight the abyss I would find some organics who were strong enough to do it. That is when I found the crew of the Eureka Maru and eventually Dylan. A few years prior my power to see multiple futures developed full force. I used to see these futures like they were dreams, but then I was living all of them like they were realities. I have lived in so many futures I sometimes forget what had happened in one and what actually happened when I made it work right. The worst future was the one I had to live through the longest. It was the one where my only purpose in life was to keep Beka alive as long as I could. There was no way I could fight the abyss, not without the rest of the team. Then when Harper bent time I got to come back and change that. The thing I hate most though is every future that goes wrong I have to watch one of you die. I've seen all of you die hundreds of times, mostly in my arms. Then I change the future and I'm no more glad to see you alive than the first time."

Everybody was staring at Trance. Some were teary eyed, one was apathetic. Dylan took a deep breath and shoved the brownie at Trance.

Trance didn't like sad atmospheres. She shook herself out of her daze just in time.

"Boy, oh boy that was delicious," Harper exclaimed.

After the brownies were eaten the crew realized there was one left, but Trance grabbed it before anyone could comprehend and put the whole thing in her mouth.

"Hey…what did you do that for?" Harper protested.

Trance just smiled and said "I would have gotten it anyway."

A/N: Hope you liked the story it was fun to write.


End file.
